My Purora welcomed @heatherrheao to share their HIV fears; you can find Heather on their Instagram.
My first fear was that the virus would take my life. The second fear was that I would never be able to mother children. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The third fear was living with the stigma of being HIV-positive. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
”Dang, she must have gotten around!” “She must not have any self-respect” a couple of phrases that I made up in my mind and imagined other people saying or thinking.
I thought of my young dance students and how they looked up to me. I wondered how their thinking of me would change if they knew I had HIV.
I asked what their parents think of me. I was sure my boyfriend was going to leave; I thought he should. I didn’t want to bring him down with me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was worried; therefore, my immediate intentions were to isolate myself from everyone and everything. I feared that taking my own life seemed like an entirely appropriate reaction. I thought of the virus living in my blood, and I wanted to scratch my skin off. I was afraid of my blood. I didn’t want it anymore.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It was a dark place where I was. I made it out, and I have no intention of ever going back again.
My Purora thanks Heather for sharing their HIV fears. Do you want to share yours?
